My daughter’s van driver never asks me for his monthly charges. But on the first of every month, I give my daughter Rs 700 to hand over to him. He and I never speak to each other. There is no receipt. And he comes day after day, on time, all month.
My canteen person in office doesn’t ask me for payment when I buy the odd biscuit or packet of chips from him. I go and offer him myself, whenever I remember. I doubt if he keeps accounts.
The lady at the British Council library counter didn’t have change when I had to make a late payment for books returned after the due date. I was Rs 16 short, and she said, “Give it to me next time.” I had no reason to go to the library for many months, but when I finally did, I made the payment. She had no memory of it but she accepted it as an everyday feature.
So many of our day-to-day interactions are based on something as flimsy as human trust. We trust that the bus will be on time; that the office will be open and functioning by the time you get there; that the tea will be on your table at sharp 11 am and then at 3 pm; that your child’s teacher will let you know if there’s a problem in school; that your neighbour won’t park their car in your space as part of an unspoken agreement. We trust the sun to rise in the morning and the moon and stars to shimmer at night. We trust our foot to find the ground every time we raise it in a walk, and our sense organs to perceive all that is around is. We trust our hair will dry after we wash it, and our nails will keep growing. We are able to live, breathe, move and talk because we trust ourselves to do so.
Trusting leads to faith, security, and eventually happiness. If our trust has been broken once, we find ourselves questioning every single action and word of another – setting ourselves up for insecurity and unhappiness. It is inevitable.
But it is not irreversible.
I resolve to trust again. To trust nature to find the best possible course for my growth and evolution as a human being. To trust love to fill up my heart with joy again. To trust passion to drive me to the edges of my boundaries and beyond. To trust my subconscious to steer me clear of toxic situations. To trust the universe to teach me all I need to learn and make me worthy of sharing those lessons with others. And in the process, to finally start trusting my own intuition and feelings again.
Life, thy will be done.