Sep 28, 2007

Duality dilemma continued

Dear Anon,
A promise is a promise and so there is no excuse. I'm so very sorry for not posting the second part of the post, the one perhaps more of interest to you!

Following with the previous post, there are no wrongs or rights in life. There are merely choices and living with the consequences of those choices. Since the soul's journey and its final destination are both evolution, it is necessary that we make some wrong choices at some points, in order to know what the right ones should have been. Not 'wrong' or 'right' as in moral terms (I do not subscribe to morality, it is an empty concept too full of holes). But 'right' or 'wrong' as in 'what serves you' and 'what doesn't serve you' respectively.

Another interesting concept that comes up when you begin believing in the concept of the soul's evolution is: self-centredness. A pure soul is a self-centred soul. Does it sound selfish? It is, and yet not in the negative sense we are conditioned to believe 'selfish' means. By being centred in, zeroed in, on to yourself, you are actually doing what's best for you AND those around you. By being focused on whatever you really want, including the best for those you love, you are inviting those events and causes towards you. Those which not only bring YOU happiness but also bring happiness to the ones you care for.

Besides focused goals, self-centredness also requires a certain 'giving up' of yourself to the universe. Having faith that everything will fall out right in the end. Because it has to. Because your soul will have it no other way.

As women (are you Indian??), we are conditioned to 'sacrifice' ourselves for the sake of our families. We are taught that 'selfishness' is a bad term. Let's get rid of this mentality right away. Sacrifices are useless. They only leave you resentful, negative and hating those you've made sacrifices for. And the other person has no value for it. And being selfish, or let's call it self-centred, is necessary for evolution. It is how nature has designed us. Why should we deny ourselves what is best for us?

My point is: Make CHOICES, not sacrifices. Think of what makes YOU happy, do not worry about others' happiness. You cannot make everyone happy anyway. And it's not your job.

Your job is to fulfill yourself, to discover the divine within you, to tap into the bliss and joy that lies underneath all the negativity of the surface, and to shine like the star that you are. By achieving that, you are also going to inspire several others along the way as well, not the least your own kids.

Does it serve this purpose to give into your attraction/love/desire for another man? Beware that it is a difficult choice; there's a thorny road ahead if you choose him, you will be ostracised, your family will break up, your outside world will turn upside down. And it will make you miserable as well.

And yet, my darling, it's a thorny road even if you don't choose him. You will yearn, your heart will break, your inner world will turn upside down. And it will reflect in the world outside you as well.

Do you see it now? Your soul has CREATED this crossroads for itself. Either way, there is going to be pain. There HAS to be, if there is to be growth. And that's what your soul wanted. You are the threshold of a great evolution, a great turning point in your life. I am so proud of you already. I can see the raw carbon being cut and polished, and soon, the brilliant diamond is going to emerge.

If you're looking for the answer on this blog, you won't find it. The answer is within your own heart. Look inside yourself. This is an excellent juncture to take up some form of meditation, prayer, spirituality, serving others, losing yourself in any talent or form of art, whatever you are drawn to. Do it with faith, with conviction. It's a beautiful process, discovering yourself. It is going to open up whole new worlds for you - both inside and on the outside.

Once you discover yourself, you will also know what you want, and your choice will become clear. And who knows. Maybe the choice you make will be entirely different from the two options above.

Whatever choice you make, you alone have to live with its consequences. Not me, not your kids, not your lover, not your husband. They create their own karmas and destinies. You are only responsible for your own. Once you start taking responsibility for your own life, ALL of your life will make total sense. And it will be in complete rhythm with the universe, because that is how it is meant to be.

Live by the rules of your own soul, not someone else's. Do what makes YOU happy. No compromises. Only when you are happy can you make others happy. Choose your destiny, and then live it with joy and passion and love and bliss. Don't make a choice you think you will regret; and don't regret the choice you make.

"Above all, to thine own self be true."

Life is truly beautiful once you change your perspective. Open your heart.


Aekta said...

Hey Anon, I had an afterthought last night and added another line. Have made it bold for you to pick it out. All the best! And do keep in touch.

shakester said...

hi aekta- sorry,i saw your comment on my blog only now. you can reach me at theshakester[at]gmail[dot]com

Ritu said...

Hi anon,

What Aekta said is so true. This is a battele your soul chose for itself. At the end of the day, whatever choice u make will be urs to live with...forever... And u will indeed make the choice that will give more strength to u as an indvidual.

In this day and age, only people who have nothing to do conform to issues of morality.

You do as your heart says. Go with him or go wiht your family, ultimately its a choice u shud not regret.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aekta,

Inspite of having a superficially normal relation with my mother, I have not been able to forgive or forget certain incidents from the past which have hurt me at an unimaginable level.

The problem is my partner doesnt know of these and I dont want him to know. Is it wrong to hide these things from your partner? If not, how do I explain to him the certain coldness in my relationship with my mother?